I love that I can be myself with my husband. He honestly doesn’t care if I’m wearing makeup or anything like that. I know that he loves me. I know that he loves how we’ve created a family together. We’re partners and we signed up for this life together.
But I want to be fun and interesting and sexy when I’m with him, at least sometimes. I want him to know that I’m more than just a frazzled nutcase in an applesauce-covered Target t-shirt. And I’m sure he does know that, in a sense, but how long is he going to believe it without any evidence to the contrary? How do I give him my best? How do other stay-at-home-moms do it? Does he worry about any of these things too?
I didn’t write this, but I feel like I could have.
I also love that this woman is not offering a solution for the problem in the entirety of her post, but she is simply expressing.
Can I be honest? Sometimes I hate bloggers who have to end every single post with a solution to their problem, despite the fact that I know they are actually doing a good thing by trying to find solutions. Sometimes, I just really need to commiserate, and I just want empathy, not a problem solved. (Then again, sometimes I want solutions. I’m fickle that way.)
And that’s why I love this post from Scary Mommy. Her story rings so incredibly true to my story: somehow, my husband always catches me at my worst, and the sexy, kind, not-covered-in-sleep-deprived-acne wife who used to greet him with kisses instead of “SHHHHHHHHH! She’s finally sleeping!!!!” is gone. The thing that’s replaced her on most occasions can only be described as out of the abyss.
What bothers me most is I remember totally judging the women whom I perceived as acting this way. “Why do you give everything to your children and nothing to your husband?” I’d think to myself. “I’m never going to be like that. I’m still going to be an awesome wife.”
That’s what I hate about judging, especially everything I ever judged about parents. Somehow, it always comes around to bite me in the ass.
I will be the first to say my husband and I need more date nights.
But I also wouldn’t mind getting a strong drink with author Kate Parlin and commiserating over how being a good wife while being a good mom is hard as hell.